Even though I had left my abusive husband, I certainly was not out of the woods yet. The most dangerous time , is after a woman has left. I am certainly not saying stay in a abusive relationship because leaving is dangerous. what I am saying is be aware of everything even after you left and are in a safe place. I learned this when at the shelter in Fairview. Which was unlike the experiencing I had at the former shelter I had previously stayed at.
The crisis workers at the Fairview shelter were engaging and genuinely concerned about my well being. They checked in with me often, and were always available to talk if I needed to share what was happening for me at any given moment. I even made a friend of a woman that was there for reasons other than abuse, but she and I still had much in common as we both suffered from an addiction.
I shared, with the crisis workers and my new friends that I suffered from alcoholism. they were shocked and said I did not look like I had this issue. I am not sure what an alcoholic is supposed to look like, but I guess I didn’t fit the stereotype of a female alcoholic. I Did not let this deter me from the truth though, the truth being that I was an addict and needed help with my addiction. I talked my friend into attending an AA meeting with me, even though she was not an alcoholic. I just did not have the courage to attend the meeting by my self. One of my fears was that my abusive husband would be there. Although, why would he be at an AA meeting is beyond me. However, I was just so terrified of him, that I assumed he could be any were, and this was not a bad thing to be hyper-vigilant since he was only a few miles away in Brownvale on the Indian Reservation. The chances of running into him were quite high.
This fist meeting went quite well, I was all dressed u and looked presentable. My friend supported me through the meeting, although, I didn’t really share much at this first meeting. I Did however, meet my Dr at this meeting. Dr. Snider. Dr.Snider saw me and put me on Prozac to help me with my PTSD and Depression. I didn’t realize at the time I was suffering from great unresolved traumas and this was affecting and effecting my life in ways that I did not understand.
The second time I went to the AA meeting, I went by my self. They had these wooden chairs and I was wearing a dress with nylons, and I slid right off my chair into the lap of the man sitting next to me!! I was so embarrassed! Everyone was so kind, no one laughed and all pretended like nothing happened. Being such a sensitive person I really had to struggle not to run out of the room, and embarrass my self even more. However, I sat through the meeting with no further incidents. I truly felt I was on my way, however, I had a slip when a man asked me out on a date and we drank. i felt so terrible about it but Dr. Snider said start again kiddo you will make it!
I knew I was not going to be able to stay in Fairview, as it was just too dangerous and the chances of running into my husband was just too risky. I really had no idea what I was going to do or were I was going to go, so I prayed about it again.
Dr.snider asked me a few days later, if i would like to attend a AA round up with him and his wife. I had no idea what a AA round up was, but it was a AA event so I said yes I would like to go. I found out later that AA round up’s are hosted by the AA groups of whatever Town or city is hosting, and AA members from all over come to attend. It was amazing, so many people though! I really do not do well with big crowds so it was some what overwhelming. However, the speaker meetings were very comforting and inspirational.
On the way to the Round up Doug, Dr. Snider said the most odd thing to me. He said” do not feel ashamed if you find a nice man there and want to go home with him”. What an odd thing to say, I laughed but said ok I will keep that in mind. I certainly was not there to look for a man lol.
I enjoyed the round up, and yes I did meet a man that was to be a integral part of my life, and someone who supported me through some very dark times, and shared some very good times. I would like to talk more about him in the next segment though , sorry friends you will just have to wait for that, I am sure you will enjoy it though .
Dr. Doug Snider, was very influential in my introduction to AA and AA round ups. He also became a very good friend and confidant. It pains me greatly to say that he was taken far too soon from his family, and the people he cared for, myself included. I miss you greatly, even after all these years Dr. Doug Snider =(.
Alberta doctor guilty of killing colleague
CBC News · Posted: Oct 07, 2000 8:49 PM ET | Last Updated: October 7, 2000
A jury has found a northern Alberta doctor guilty of manslaughter in the death of his colleague, whose body has never been found.
Dr. Abraham Cooper, 61, was charged with first-degree murder in the death of Dr. Doug Snider, a fellow doctor in Fairview, Alta.
After deliberating for three days, the jury found Cooper guilty of manslaughter late Friday night.
Snider, 59, disappeared after he told his wife he was going to a meeting at Cooper’s clinic on May 5, 1999. His body has never been located a fact the defense argued means he may still be alive.
Although Cooper admitted he didn’t like Snider, he denied ever killing him suggesting that the missing man is in hiding, hoping to frame him for a crime that never took place.
Snider’s family gasped out loud when the jury’s verdict was announced.
“The defence strategy was to paint out our father as some kind of monster,” Snider’s son, Darren, said outside the courthouse. “If truth be known, our father was gentle, kind, caring, but above all else human.”
“As for Abe Cooper, desperate men do desperate things.”
Defence lawyers had argued that Snider was an alcoholic who faked his own death to build a new life for himself. They said Snider ran away because he was also afraid of losing a lawsuit Cooper had filed against him.
But the Crown pointed out Snider had no reason to frame Cooper or to leave his loving family. It said Cooper’s reasons for wanting Snider dead are clear.
The medical community shunned Cooper and revoked his hospital privileges. Cooper believed Snider was part of a conspiracy against him. He filed a $3.2-million lawsuit against Snider and three other doctors in Fairview, claiming they were conspiring to ruin him.
The Crown told the jury Cooper forced Snider to confess to being a part of a conspiracy, killed him, and disposed of the body.
But the Crown says Cooper botched the murder by leaving evidence behind. Snider’s blood was found in Cooper’s clinic and in his car.
Cooper will be sentenced Oct. 11. A manslaughter conviction carries no minimum sentence but there is a maximum term of life in jail.
It seemed to me that any one who tried to help me always were taken out of my life one way or the other, I was having a hard time trusting any one. Dr. Sniders death was a real blow to me, as he was so influential in helping me , and to lose him in a violent manner, just reinforced for me that the world was a very dangerous and unkind place for some one like me. I shut down even more.
A moment of silence for my Friend, mentor, and guiding hand when I needed it most…. DR.Doug Snider. …….Thank you.